A Flask Forgotten
by xxSterre
Summary: ONESHOT. Emma and Killian talk sometime after episode 3x19, in an attempt to discuss the state of their tentative friend-/relationship.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own OUAT, nor the characters unfortunately. All rights go to ABC, Disney, Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis etc etc.

Hope you enjoy this dialogue between Killian and Emma after 3x19 which left me aching for the next episode and I am definitely way too invested in this show...

* * *

And just like that, Killian Jones lost all he had been fighting for all over again. It took just one ill explained event to take her trust away. He guessed that her walls weren't as much down as he or even she herself had assumed.

He was sitting at the dock, legs dangling from the pier and flask in hand. It was still closed though, because he knew that this time around it would only make things worse. The alcohol wouldn't drown his nightmares, because this time they were not just nightmares. It was reality that hurt, every single day and he was not about to lose himself like he did over Milah. Moreover, he had learned the hard way that if he didn't have a sober and clear mind, he might be tricked by the Wicked Witch herself.

A humorless laugh escaped him. She had thought that he would be the way, but he doubted it would've ever happened. It hurt, to know that he had been so close yet so far away. And now it all was gone in the blink of a moment. The rum suddenly didn't sound that bad anymore.

Maybe it was stupid, how he'd given up everything for one woman who he wasn't even sure of would do the same for him. And now, he had nothing to go back to. Piracy was.. It didn't feel _right _anymore. It wasn't _him _anymore.

The only thing that had ever felt like a home to him, he had given up without even thinking a second about it. And he wished that he could be angry at himself for doing it, for being so.. recklessly in love. But he just wasn't. He'd do it over and over again if it meant keeping her safe.

He wondered if he should have done things differently, but quickly scowled at that thought. Obviously he should have done things differently, but that special gift of doing things wrongly had been following him around ever since he first visited Neverland.

Neverland. His worst nightmare and personal trauma, yet since a mere year also the place where he finally felt relief. That he was letting go of the weight of his past. The place that had shown him he was capable of loving again, albeit unrequited.

His heart ached and he wondered what it would look like. Probably blackened, although he couldn't help but cherish the hope that Emma had shed some light on him too.

It was that moment that his shoulders stiffened, as if he was speaking of the devil, he heard her footsteps reach him.

'Come to yell at me once more? Because I'd rather just sit here in silence if you don't mind.' He sneered, not bothering to look up and defiantly opening his flask of rum for real this time, taking a sip and regretting it instantly. But he wouldn't, couldn't let the emotions win. Although he knew he had already been defeated a long time ago.

She silently took a seat next to him, but keeping enough space between them so she wouldn't accidentally touch him – or let's be honest, him touching her accidentally on purpose. Not that he had, in the last couple of days, because every and any contact with her hurt.

"Robin and Regina are together. Henry left with them." She suddenly spoke up, not bothering to respond to his earlier comment.

Killian snorted, before resolutely taking a stand, leaving her sitting on the dock. 'I'm not doing this Swan. If you want to exchange pleasantries or gossip, then please do so with your Mother or the wolf girl.'

He was about to walk away, when she spoke up again. "Hook Wait."

He swiveled around immediately, suddenly standing dangerously close to Emma Swan, the woman he loved but also made him feel miserable and full of anguish.

'And we're back to Hook, quite frankly it doesn't even surprise me.' He spoke up, sounding more defeated and less insulting than he was going for.

She seemed to recoil from this, as her eyes kept focusing on different spots, before she spoke up again. He could see the nervousness in her eyes, and he felt sorry for her, he did. For everything that he had done to and for her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you that." She said, eyes now locked on his own orbs.

And that was what made him give in once more to her beautiful eyes and the pool of emotions he saw in them.

'Forgive me, I should be the one apologizing Swan. I did refrain from telling you the entire truth, but I only wished to protect you from more perilous danger. I wanted to keep your boy safe and…your powers safe.' _You. I just wanted to ensure your safety. _

"Henry told me he was about to leave on his own, in my car." Her eyes softened, although he could still sense that her walls were high up.

'Aye. Instead, I offered him passage on a ship.' That seemed to get her attention, as she suddenly averted her gaze and scanned the docks.

"Where _is_ your ship?" It felt like another blow to his body, as she asked for his ship. His home. His sanity, or at least he'd believed so for a while.

'Perceptive as you are, it isn't here.' He said, as he narrowed his eyes, trying to convey that he was not going to talk about it.

"You know what?" Emma looked up at him defiantly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I take back what I said. That I didn't care about the past and that I was ready to just live for the moment. If you want to earn my trust, you are going to tell me everything about the last year and I want you to start with what happened to the Jolly Roger."

'Trust is not earned by a simple game of confessions Swan, you know that as well as I do.' Killian replied to her final statement. He just wanted to go and sleep, for a long time. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so emotionally exhausted.

"But it starts with being honest. At least for me." She spoke, not wavering a bit, but he could see the anxious look in her eyes.

'I was honest all this time. But that doesn't mean anything when you can't believe me.' He thought back to the moment in Granny's ,where he'd tried his best not to lie to her, yet not tell her at the same time. Or just now in the boathouse, where they so solidly accused him of lying, of being the bastardly pirate he was once more.

'It doesn't matter to you, because as you just admitted at the beginning of our conversation, you can't help yourself but think of me as Hook, the one-handed pirate with a drinking problem.' He spit out, loathing himself and the words as they spewed from his lips.

She was taken aback by his sudden hostility, but as he tried to turn from her heated gaze, she suddenly grabbed a hold of his hook, pulling him back to face her once more.

"No, don't even think of leaving now mister." She chose to just ignore everything he'd said, but he didn't even have to look to know that his words had probably hurt her and caused the rift between them to only become greater.

'Where would I go anyways.' He mused softly, thinking about Granny's, but knowing that his room was right across the one from Emma didn't make him feel any better.

As if on cue, realization seemed to dawn on Emma, as she opened her mouth to speak, then closed it.

"You lost it, didn't you. You somehow lost it while you were looking for me."

He stiffened and locked his jaw, looking anywhere but _her_ as he nodded almost imperceptibly. _I would do anything for you. _

'I think we're done here.' He said softly, trying to loosen the grip she had on his left wrist, without hurting her with his hook.

Her eyes, _oh her eyes_, were focused on his, yet they weren't. And suddenly she blinked, the whirlpool of emotions no longer readable at first glance for him, as she shook her head.

"I.. Yes.. I mean.. I have to go. Henry would like for you to come to Granny's tonight."

He felt a small flicker of hope, temporarily relieving him of the confused and pained thoughts he was having about her reaction.

'I wouldn't want to interfere with the first full family dinner you can have with the lad.'

"He doesn't blame you. You should know that." She added hastily, before she suddenly averted her gaze to study her shoes.

He gave her a small smile, as he rocked on the heel of his foot, before he took a deep breath.

'I'm glad. Nevertheless, I do not intend on intruding family affairs.'

She looked at him, as if she were confused on what to respond, but then nodded.

"I don't know what happened exactly, with Zelena, nor in the last year, but I want to understand Killian. I don't want to not trust you, I need you to know that."

'Aye.' Was all he said, feeling the small flicker of hope grow as he studied his Swan again. He would not let anything happen to her, and even though he wouldn't be present when she was having dinner with the entire family in the hospital – he would watch over them.

His eyes followed her form as she left the docks, without once looking back at him. As soon as she started her yellow bug, he started walking himself, not even realizing he'd left his flask of rum on the docks.

There were only two things Killian Jones fought for; revenge and love. And boy was he dangerous when both of those things were at stake. He would not let that green abomination harm Emma, nor the lad he had come to care so much about, he'd go as far as protecting David and Snow, Regina and Robin and the little Roland. Because they meant something to _her_, and he wouldn't leave. Although it hurt so much to be around her without having her friendship, her trust or her heart, he knew that she was able to give that to others and he would not let anything or anyone take that happiness away from his Swan.

No, Zelena would _not_ win, he would make sure of that, even if it cost him his own life.


End file.
